I Don’t Want Your Pity

It’s been a while since I’ve written. And for good reason. The end of the summer got busy. Weddings, work, packing, moving, starting school, and settling into a new routine. And somewhere along the way, I began trying to heal a broken heart.

Hearts get broken all the time, right? So maybe you can relate. Sometimes you put on a smile, and convince all the people around you that you’re okay when in reality you aren’t. But maybe you’ve put on the smile for so long that you’ve convinced yourself that you’re okay too. Then one day, life slows down a little and you realize that you’re so not okay. And then you put wall up between you and Jesus. You try to do that whole heal yourself thing. You try to figure out what steps to take so that your heart heals. And then one day you wake up, get angry, throw your phone, cry, and realize that it’s time to move on.

And that’s where the healing starts.

Healing starts when you let Jesus in. When you fall to your knees and spend a little time crying out to the only one who can piece your heart back together. You know, I think when we let Jesus piece our heart back together, He uses super glue and somehow that break in our heart make us stronger. That super glue is stronger than what was before. When we let Jesus heal our hearts, He shapes us. He refines us and makes us stronger. And for that reason alone, I don’t want your pity.

I think that was the most frustrating part of people finding out about my broken heart. I got so many looks of pity. But guess what. I don’t want your pity. I didn’t throw myself a pity party, I don’t throw other people pity parties, and I don’t want pity parties. Why? Because it’s in the brokenness of life that Jesus shapes us, grows us, and changes us.

Can I be real with you? I’m done looking back. I’m not sad anymore. It doesn’t hurt anymore. Jesus is healing me. He’s changing me. And He’s growing new desires in my heart. Desires for the world, for orphans, for the poor and the hungry, for the broken and hurting. If my heart had never been broken, I would have never encountered Jesus the way I am right now. I may have never been broken for the world. Or had the desires I have right now.

So from now on, think before you throw yourself or someone else a pity party. Because maybe, just maybe, God is wrecking their life in a totally unbelievable way. Maybe He’s changing them and refining them. Maybe He’s redirecting their life. Go encourage those people who are broken. Encourage them to chase Jesus. To get off their high horse, to shut down the pity party, and to fall on their knees and let God do work on their heart.

Oh how I can’t even begin to explain how much my Jesus has changed me because I fell to my knees and stomped on the pity parties.

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